i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Found your dick twin last night
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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