I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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