wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
wow bdsm is so cute
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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