i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
