I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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