butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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