Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
