or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
