Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
