Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
