i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
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You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
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Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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