I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
