jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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