im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
