hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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