I'm really into asian looking animals
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
