i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
