she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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