Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize