Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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