I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
