similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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