I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
they're like a gay fantastic four
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
