I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
