so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
