I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize