Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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