there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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