how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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