i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
