she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
