there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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