You work out of a Hotel?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize