dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
