and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
