Someone shit on the floor
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
17 year olds will be the death of me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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