did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize