Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
