It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize