i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
only you would photoshop your dick
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
