If i come over, it means nothing
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
