these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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