Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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