I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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