Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
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