Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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