Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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