butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
