I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And then my night got REAL pukey
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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