hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I touched a dick in church today
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
