Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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