Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
