this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
