and you said cock pushups were impossible
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
