Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
