in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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