What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
