Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
