I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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