i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
