We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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