Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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