I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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