I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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