I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
