she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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