Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
