No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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