He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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